kiirastuli.com

I don’t believe in a god or gods, so I don’t believe in souls either.

However, that doesn’t mean my fantasy worlds couldn’t have souls… perhaps a limited number of them.

So what happens when you run out of them? I mean, a god could have created only a certain number of souls back in the day. You know, 100 million or so, because he/she/it thought that would be enough. However, humans were better at surviving and adapting then predicted. First this could mean that the souls don’t have enough time to recuperate between lives, so they are born somewhat “tired”. Than souls run out completely and people start to born without one.

What would that mean? I’d say no magic for the soulless. No divine favor for the soulless. Are they only golemlike? Can people see the difference? Of course some children will have souls because new ones are being freed as older people die, which will make it harder to distinguish between the ones with a soul and ones lacking one.

I guess Marvel/DC doesn’t want me using the word “superhero”, because they try to claim it as their trademark. Well, fuck them.

Anyhow, I know I don’t manage to update the site as it is, but still I’d enjoy adding a team of superheroes on to the roster. Here’s what I’m thinking…

The usual superhero team consists of the “The Hero”, “The Lancer”, “The Big Guy”, “The Smart Guy” and “The Chick”. I’d like to use these archtypes, but mess with them as much as possible. Ok, not as much as possible, but hopefully more than any major source has been willing to do. Admittedly, this is largely influenced by “Watchmen” and “How to Succeed in Evil“. Both excellent takes on the whole superhero genre, which I higly recommend. Although, don’t listen to El Justiador… that one sucks.

So, here’s my team…

• The Hero: A woman, who has been designated a leader since she has military experience as an officer. Her only superpower is the ability to endure a lot of damage without major structural damage. Huge forces pretty much only break her skin. She knows this very well, but the problem is that she still has the instincts of a normal human, which means she doesn’t usually have the nerve to take bullets or stand in front of a speeding car. This has lead to excessive drinking on her part. She is an alcoholic. She is a “superpatriot” and has no qualms about any instructions from superiors (the team is government sponsored).
• The Lancer: Another woman. A pacifist, who would rather handle all situations through negotiations. Has strong philosophical differences with The Hero. Has strong liberal views and usually has more thought out moral stances than the rest of the team. Although she has no training in leadership, it very often falls upon her to take charge of the situation when The Hero is losing control. Her superpower is that of reading minds. It shouldn’t really be called telepathy, as she needs to touch the person’s head with both hands. This can be a very painful process for both participants, especially if the subject attempts to resist it. It has even been known to kill the subject on occasion. This has lead to an extreme dislike of using her powers.
• The Big Guy: A guy, who is big. Yes. He is well over 2 meters tall and weighs more than 200 kilos. In a word, he is massive. He is very strong and can topple a car by himself. He also regenerates, but any regenerating tissue also forms a tumor, which are vey painful and obvious. Removing them is a seriously complicated surgical task (for which I haven’t really been able to come up with reasonable explanation for). He doesn’t have a too long life-expectancy. He is quite bigoted and basically acts like a school bully.
• The Smart Guy: Again, a guy. An autodidact, who has since received a diploma for a master’s degree, although it is unknown how he was able to do this without actually attending a college or university. He doesn’t seem to have any “nerdy” habits. He is bisexual and very active sexually. He likes to flaunt his interest in men in front of The Hero and The Big Guy due to their dislike of homosexuals on moral grounds. He is a close friend of The Lancer. The Smart Guy has the ability to control electromagnetic forces. Yes, it’s similar to Magnero, but on a whole different scale. A lot smaller scale. He can apply forces up to a few Newtons. He has the creativity, intellect and finesse to be able to use this power to its full, if limited, extent. He often carries a lot of small steel tools in his pockets to use in conjunction with his power. He is also an apt student of Capoeira Angola
• The Chick: Last of the guys in the team. A homosexual, who likes being dominated by other men. The Smart Guy often uses this to bug The Hero and The Big Guy. He is very androgynic. He seems harmless, but is actually a psychopath, who is able to manipulate those around him extremely well. Whether its a superpower (as he likes to think) or simple intuition based on experience, he has the uncanny ability to know the biggest personality flaws of those around him. He keeps this under wraps though. The power for which he was recruited into the team, was his ability to become invisible when remaining still.

The fuckers were easy enough to track despite the rain. Jensen could see that they were trying to cover their tracks, but they just weren’t doing a very good job of it. He didn’t even need the dogs to track this bunch of deserters. Of course Geri and Freki were still with him. They never left his side and he did have a job for them…

You see, most people are deathly afraid of dogs. Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating here, but even if you could pet a dog under most circumstances and could even sleep with one, how do you respond to it when it’s growling like it means business? Geri and Freki were all about business.

After another half an hour or so, he saw them. They had decided to take cover during the rain. They were huddled under a few trees, shivering with cold. They were still armed and dressed in their gray uniforms. Peter couldn’t have made a mistake.

He knew what to do in these situations. He couldn’t possibly fight it out. There were plenty of them and only one Peter (and the dogs, obviously). There was no point in trying to get any sort of reinforcements, ’cause it would take them days to get organized and these men would be far by then.

So he did what he always did in these situations. He walked right in the middle of them where they all could clearly see him (and the dogs). Once one of the men reacted, he simply pulled out his sabre and slashed the man’s belly open.

“Ok boys, I think it’s better you just go back and report to your officers in the morning.”

The other men were scared shitless and Peter knew he could return to his post and be sure the men would return on their own. Perhaps there was one or two who would defy him, but the war wasn’t ending anytime soon and he had plenty of time to kill them.

This is a new low, Brastran was thinking to himself. I’ve never stolen shit before. There was nothing funny about it. They had been hired to steal shit and that was exactly what they were going to do. Ok, it wasn’t any shit… it was dragon shit and there was a lot of it. Why the philosophers needed the shit, he did not know, but he wasn’t asking any questions. The money was good and getting killed by a dragon was both likely and impressive. That was clearly an extra incentive for him.

The philosophers weren’t exactly military men. They had not been able to or didn’t bother to get almost any intelligence except for the location of the dragon. They did manage to help some: they made a calculation that at least two or three good sized wagons were needed to move the shit.

Well, it was a job. Things had been slow for a while, so it was needed. They were trying to get to Ecyzem, but they needed money for the passage. There were enough wars to keep them busy for a decade, at least. Best of all, there were a huge number of countries involved, which meant they could change employers any time things got hairy.

The boys needed some change as well. Tae’s drinking was getting out of hand, Rul was getting involved with a girl and her parents weren’t too pleased about it, Muinn and Niezus were in deep debt to some local gambling places. Worst of was Balvac, who wasn’t built for urban living, even in a town of couple of thousand people. Ok, admittedly Gieaol was even worse off. His throat had been cut a few days ago by some unknown assailant. Somehow he was still alive, but would be dead any moment. He wasn’t coming along. They picked up Blithe in his place. He was a weird kid, but probably useful. The locals were happy to get rid of him. He was big, which is always good, but his mind seemed to wander.

Well, the next morning they were leaving. They had to “convince” the townsfolk to “lend” them a few wagons and the oxen needed to get them moving. Actually the townsfolk didn’t need too much “negotiation”. They were happy to see the group move on. They were even kind enough to supply them.

The philosophers had given them pretty good instructions on where to go. It took them more than a week to reach their destination. On the way, they a wagon carrying a load of shit twice. The second one they hijacked and hid in the forest to wait for their return. It got them thinking though. Are we too late?. They didn’t voice the idea too much, but each of them (with the exception of Blithe, who - again - wasn’t too bright) did think about it on their own.

Well, they came upon two big tents. At first they didn’t even realize they had reached their destination. Only after someone came out from one of the tents and called for them, did they realize that they were in the right place. Nobody had bothered to tell them that there would be people there, but ok… since attacking an enemy blindly is always stupid, they decided to scout out the encampment.

Apparently one of the tents was for the dragon and one for the people. They couldn’t actually see how many people there were, but that big a tent could accomodate up to twenty. However, if they lived in it semipermanently, there were probably less than half that many. The other tent was for the dragon. There were some cows right next to it, which were apparently food for the dragon. The people were more than willing to show off their dragon.

The dragon was not exactly what the boys had been expecting based on stories they’d heard as kids and over the years from other soldiers. Yes, it was a big, scaly, winged lizard, with a huge maw, fierce gaze and fiercer claws. On the other hand, it was fat. Even though it had wings, it probably couldn’t have flown. Fighting was probably out of the question too.

Brastran wasn’t exactly thrilled. This was his dragon? His slayer? Hardly. Next night they assaulted the camp, killed the people there and the dragon for good measure and something to brag about. They loaded as much shit on their wagons as they could and returned to the town. They managed to negotiate a nice bonus for the extra wagon of shit. Some might call it blackmail, but in their profession, they are the same thing.

I haven’t been posting very actively lately and I’m sorry about that. Still haven’t gotten around to watching Before Sunrise, but I did watch Alferd Packer: The Musical, so I’ll post something on that soon enough. Also, I’ll probably post some fiction soon as well.

“I’m just saying that ‘Wraith’ is a great codename”, Wraith said a bit pissed off.

“I’m not saying it isn’t, but I don’t think it means what you think”, answered The Surgeon, who was quite proud of his codename.

“Yeah, well, maybe us Americans like to think that we are talking about ghosts of some sort, but it means guardian angel to Scots. Its their word, it doesn’t matter what Tolkien did to it.”

“Look, Tolkien was a freakin’ linguist. He should know how to use a fuckin’ word.”

“How many times do we have to go through this? I’m a fuckin’ guardian angel. I’m here to fuckin’ protect you.”

“Now, you’re not. You are my freakin’ scout. You are my partner.”

“Yes, I am your scout and I am good at what I do, so I’m your guardian angel.”

“I don’t see the analogy in that.”

“You don’t see what?”

“The analogy… never mind.”

A silence ensued for about fifteen minutes.

“So what about you? Surgeon?”

“Yes, THE Surgeon. You know, I make surgical strikes and whatnot.”

“Yeah, like killing cancer cells with a laserbeam, right?”

“Yeah, I guess, precision is the key.”

“Still, its not like you’ve taken the oath of … who ever it was. The greek guy.”

“I’m still saving lives…”

“Are you?”

“I don’t know, but I have to lie to myself, don’t I? Why would we be here if we didn’t? Thus, The Surgeon.”

“Ok, as long as you know what Wraith means.”

The only thing which prompted me to buy this DVD is the fact that its a movie from Tim Burton, whose work I respect and regard highly. Otherwise, it hasn’t aged very well. The special effects seem old and often quite bad.

Next: Before Sunrise (but there’s a slight problem with this one, I’ll glue you in on the details some day)

Filled with every possible thing you can do to provoke emotions, this movie is very mediocre. I guess that’s what they want in the academy. I do like the way the movie describes mathematical genius, but even that misses something.

I’ve had a crush on Jennifer Connelly for a quite a long time, so her appearance is always welcome.

Still (unless you have the hots for mrs. Connelly as well), you should probably stay away from this movie. It is uninspired, boring and uninteresting.

Next: Beetlejuice

Way too few people have seen this movie. I guess it would be a bit too much for some people right now, because of the arabs taking over. Although, on the other hand, watching might this might be what is needed for some people to open their eyes. Then again, considering how Americans react to Das Boot and Der Untergang, it might not be a good idea.

La Battaglia di Algeri or The Battle of Algiers is a movie about how the Algerians rose up against the French and after years of guerilla tactics, finally openly revolted and overthrew the government. The movie was shot handheld and obviously dubbed afterwards (like the Italians often used to do). That somewhat throws me off of the picture, but it doesn’t bother me that much.

For some reason, its often considered a war movie, but its actually more like a political movie. Although there are two distinct forces fighting each other, the movie wholly lacks the ambience and atmosphere of a war movie.

Its not one of those movies I’d watch time and again, but I think its nice to have in the collection. Maybe because it is one of those movies my movie fan friends drool after (more on those later).

Next: Beautiful Mind

It was the first time I saw one of them Taurides. I had seen a whole tribe of kobolds, some dwarves and even an elf, but these Taurides were different. Dwarves and elves were sort of humans, just different. Kobolds were like dogs, but on two feet. This thing was a lot taller than any of us. It’s head looked like a bear, but the body was lean and only lightly covered with fur. Most striking of all, it had four arms. Two of which were made for skewering people, as they didn’t have any fingers, just bony spikes. I just saw one of them pierce a shield (granted, it was only wooden) and the arm behind it. Nasty stuff. Those things must’ve been a creation of some or other evil god.

Anyway, I was butchering it. Not that it had that much meat, because of its leanness, but who cares. I was hungry. The sergeant was appalled, but he didn’t say anything. Most of the troop stayed away from it, but a few of the other vets were already starting a fire.

I used to be good at this, but that was before my joints began to deteriorate. They call it arthritis or something. You know, butchering ain’t easy. You tend to think its only ripping the meat off of the thing, but its much more complicated than that. Since my fingers weren’t as nimble as they used to be, I was spurting blood everywhere. I sort of enjoyd it, ’cause it made the people squirming squirm just a little bit more. I also offered some wisdom on the healthiness of eating the brain and eyes. The vets knew what I was doing and joined in. They began tossing the liver (or something which looked like a liver) amongst them. Someone even bit a piece off of it.

What I fine evening it was.